This page shows all of my old blog posts that I couldn't bare to get rid of... I think it is important to look back on the growth of a person... And this is like my own personal archive of my late teens.
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Body Imagine is one of those extremely difficult things to talk about. You can either love your body and be called arrogant or you can hate it and get called an attention seeker! It's the painful truth that so many people face on a day to day basis. I used to get bullied quite bad when I was in High School. I definitely feel like I can blame the negative way that I perceive myself on those very hard years that I dealt with.
I have a love-hate relationship with my body at the moment. It is unfortunate that this "hate" word is still in my head when I think about my body. I don't want it to be there but it is so damn hard for it not to be. Some mornings I will wake up and look in the mirror and think "You know what... I deserve to feel good today. Look at my body. Look at it go! Let's put on some sexy undies and feel like it". However.... The next day I might wake up take one look in the mirror and think to myself "you know what... You do not look good. You have a muffin top, your boobs are saggy... Is that a fucking pimple on your face?! Wow look at your cellulite. YOU ARE DISGUSTING". Why is it that so many of us cannot feel comfortable or happy with our own bodies? Last weekend I was getting ready to go to a Party. I was feeling confident with my skin and I couldn't help but think "girl... You are totally rocking that lipstick and hairdo today". I was feeling great. That was until I opened my wardrobe and sighed because I didn't know what to wear. I was trying on dresses, skirts, jeans, shorts... But all I could see was these beautiful clothes, on a painfully disgusting body. I then broke down because although I thought I looked good for a few minutes that suddenly disappeared. I was in tears because of how none of my clothes suited me (or so I thought). Now why in the world would I suddenly be feeling like this? After trying a new hairdo and make-up and LOVING it..... To then turn around and hate it? The truth is... That day I was on Instagram, Pinterest and Facebook and all those images I saw kicked in. I spent a few hours looking at positive quotes to motivate me, then that linked into diets somehow, which linked into fitness, fashion and make-up, fat girl hacks (yes this is actually a thing),"how to make your face look skinny", "weight loss secrets", "how to get rid of your cellulite", booty workouts, leg workouts, "get rid of that muffin top", "how to be more attractive to your boyfriend", "is your partner sick and tired of the same old body? Change yours now", "get the look here"... Before long I was caught in this world of negative images with products and diets all aimed at my body. As soon as I was feeling a bit negative all of these images came pounding into my head and I realised... I am not good enough. This of course is not true but at that very moment I felt that way. I hate to admit it but sometimes I will go on a social media platform such as Instagram and will be looking at great things such as art, music and cute puppies.... As soon as I see a post though that has to do with weight loss (skinny me tea comes up a lot) I end up going on some stalkerish bloody rave. All I want to do is look at bodies and people and wish that was me. WHAT THE FUCK. It makes me sick thinking about it and why my mind would even begin to do that at all. I don't mean to do it. It just happens and I get sucked into comparing my body to all of these super models that I see plastered all over social media. This is a huge issue in people of different genders and ages! All of these places in the cyber-world where you go on to "have fun" or "socialise" can suddenly be turned into a dark place where you see things that force you to not feel good enough. Sometimes I sit there are think about my body... What it stands for and what it means. That was my project for the week. My body is perfect the way it is but IF I WANT I can change it.. Only if I want though, NOT because a picture on the internet has made me feel like I need to, NOT because someone told me I should, NOT because another family member is improving theirs, NOT because I NEED to... Because I WANT TO. I believe that our bodies are perfect just the way they are but if you want to improve it in your own way you can. I want to become fit... Not to lose weight, but so that I can run when the Zombie Apocalypse starts. I want to eat healthy so that my gut will thrive and love me for it. I want to learn to love my body for what it is and not what society makes me think it should be. Another thing I would like to add is that I have started a Youtube channel!!! If you wanted to check that out then here is my FIRST VIDEO. : I am going to have a giveaway soon which will be part of the beginning of my Youtube channel and also as part of a way that we can all blossom and love our bodies together! Much love to all of you beautiful humans! xox Ps: Feel free to share, subscribe and like!
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