I feel like this is a thing and a thing I need to get off my chest... Or out of my stomach I should say.
#morningsicknessblues and #iamthespewqueen do not quite cut how I am feeling right now as I sit on the couch sucking on some Powerade ice blocks (my last resort for this evening)... #imnotcoping fits the equation a lot better. There are a million articles out there with people's experiences of morning sickness filled with their miracle cures. However what about when you are that person who is stuck where the only option is to have what feels like the most expensive medication on the planet and either be chained to the bed or toilet? Well my friends... That person is me. I've ALWAYS hated spewing, I'm sure a lot of other people feel this way too. It's a disgusting feeling, especially when it could happen at any moment... You could be halfway through your food shopping and desperately try to run out of the store, you could be at a family dinner when you suddenly have to run to the toilet while the rest of your family hears you having a grand old time with the toilet, heck! You could be that person trying to clean up your dogs vomit, when you begin projectile vomiting everywhere at the sight and smell of both the dogs and your own vomit. What a beautiful experience for your Furbabies to witness! Last night was what I would call an eventful night... I felt a build up in my tummy and tried so hard to just breath through it and relax but it of course ended up like every other night... Spending some quality, one on one time with the toilet. It just got too much for me and I broke down in tears. So between each spew I was crying. Honestly if spew and tears could make a baby triplets were made in that toilet bowl last night. My hormones make me have the feeling where I can't stop crying once I start, so I was crying for what felt like forever for me. It probably wasn't but it sure as hell felt like it. I walked out of the bathroom and looked around at the pile of dishes, the mess on the un-swept floor, the pile of washing begging to be folded and put away before running back for another "event". I was possibly the most beautiful person in South Gippsland last night (yes, this is a total joke). Today I had the pill that I had been saving for the last few days as I had an appointment in the next town and I didn't want to risk throwing up on their floor (I so wanted to because I hate these appointments, but that's off the record). It was the first time in 3 days that I felt okay, I felt like I could do things again... It was the first time I could clean the well past it's due date house. I ended up sweeping, wiping down benches, cleaning dishes, folding washing, I even lit the fire. I felt good and more importantly I felt like a normal, functioning human being! Just thinking about it now makes me feel magnificent, although that may also be because I was with my head in the toilet before and you always feel better after a giant spew. Tomorrow I am going back to the doctors... To get a script for the only thing that is allowing me to keep food down. I'll be that lady, doing breathing exercises under her breath while she sits in the waiting room trying to put off anything happening. Now I just wanted to say here that I am NOT depressed or anything. Some people reading this will probably think that but the truth is I am definitely not. I have not felt so great mental wise in so long... I feel like I have found my calling and am in the zone I want to be in... Well almost... I could totally deal with not having 24 hour morning sickness. I feel in love with the beautiful little human that is growing more and more each day. I even have a little bump forming! It's all exciting and beautiful and I feel good apart from this. I just felt like this is something that I have really struggled with recently and I wanted all the other Mums to be out there know that they are not alone and that there are more of you, spending time with the toilet and noticing the bits you've missed while cleaning it. No one should get that close to a toilet really but if you are one of the unfortunate ones much like me, I feel you and hope that it goes away soon so that you NEVER have to spend time with your head in the toilet again. xxx
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A Mum on a mission to raise an Earth Warrior.
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