Last year I went through a depressive state. It's not like this is something that shocked me... After all my mind does go through this particular dark stage every now and again. However last year when it all happened I took a break from social media. THAT was the main thing that impacted me in a way that I could have never imagined. After all I am a strong person right? I stand up for things I believe in? I am alive? These are all true but I am also full of weakness. Weakness isn't necessarily a bad thing. It shows me a vulnerable side and a side that does in fact deserve to cry! When this weakness is caused by things I see on the internet though, a cyberworld and I sink into it as if it were reality that is when I NEED to change things in my life. The break that I had was amazing but I have sunk back into those habits again and feel as anxious and stressed as ever. Recently with all of the scary shit that is going on (to name a few): Trump coming into power. How the Australian Government is fucked. The Environment is suffering. It's hit my like a pile of bricks... Not one brick but a pile people! I've always been someone who thinks about the future too much. Some people say this is a good thing but when it consumes you to the point where you are laying in a heap on your bed listening to "Lost: Season One" by Camp Cope on repeat, with tears bucketing down your face it isn't a "good thing". It's an awful thing! In my little world one worry very quickly turns into one hundred things to worry about. I read about the funding getting cut for certain things.. That turns into me worrying about how I still don't have job (because there are none for the record here. By the way employment agencies are a load of crap. So degrading). Not having a job= worrying about how I won't be able to afford a house unless some long lost relative that I don't know about dies and leaves me a fortune, that then makes me worry about the fact that because the costs of housing and living is so much and on the rise I won't be able to afford to bring a little life into the world... That makes me worry about the racism and sexism that is thriving at the moment and will be getting worse with the current people in power, the Government is taking away from the most vulnerable (yes I got a $2000 fine from Centrelink as well), funding is getting cut more and more each day for the services that our communities NEED.. And then for the cherry on top I start stressing about the bees. WELCOME TO MY HEAD EVERYONE! It's screwed isn't it? I wake up and am stressing about all of these things that no matter how much thinking/stressing I do will not make them go away. They're still going to be there tomorrow, and the next day, heck they're probably going to be there for the next 6 months. So what the hell can I do to change this without taking a break from Social Media for the rest of my life? I made the strong decision today to "unlike" all the Facebook pages that share all of the political stuff, that give me constant updates on how the world is going to end, about how my children won't survive, about how the ice is melting and we're all going to drown and how I won't be able to get my next Pap Smear test for free. I just had to get rid of them. Those pages that although are just trying to inform people about what's going on are pushing me into a state where I don't know if anything I ever want to achieve will happen. It is stupid that these pages affect me in this way but surely I am not the only one? This is the year for change. This is the year where my little world is about me, my household, my family... The things that matter most. I'm not going to worry about how Donald Trump is in because I don't need to. Changing the world starts with me and the little world that I want to create. If everyone else were to do the same imagine how great our world would be! If you want to check out my "Goals for 2017" I made a video of it on my blog channel HERE. Comment below how you are going to change YOUR world this year! -Maddie xox
0 Comments
|
A Mum on a mission to raise an Earth Warrior.
Archives
July 2020
Categories |